Hey, do you know how to...

This is a very dangerous thing to say in a sarcastic tone to any adventurous crafter, especially if you are not a fan of surprises or gifts.  Often, if you ask a crafter if they can do this, or that, or some other thing they may feel the need to prove it to you or otherwise show you.  Remember that some crafters only get small amounts of recognition so this may be taken for interest, especially if it is their passion.

So if you are an average person, please be aware of these dangerous phrases to ask or say to crafters.

1. Hey, can you make/do that?
2. How long did that take?
3. Wow, that looks easy!
4. Can you just explain that to me?
5. So, how much did it cost to make?
6. Aren't you afraid to put someones eye out with that thing? (when the person is knitting)
7. Really? It tangles up that easily?

The answers you receive may be as follows. Please note that the phrases inside the parentheses will be an internal monologue and most likely sarcastic.

1. Yes, I can. (Well I know what I'm making them for Christmas.)
2. Oh not that long, just a few days. (As long as you don't include the time to drive to the store and back, the time spent charting it out, the time between the times it was worked on, and only if those days were 14 hour work days.)
3. Yeah, it is! (I would like to see you try this.)
4. Sure. (Boy this person really doesn't get that you have to sit down and try it for the words to make any sense...)
5. Not that much. (Not including gas money, minimum wage rates, and the point that this is all from the discount bin - in proportion to everything else in that over priced craft haven.)
6. Not at all. (Thank you random person. I was totally aware that this could be used as a weapon.  Why do you think I carry my knitting with me?)
7. Yes, it's because its thinner. (Did they really just have to ask that? THEY should try working with it.)

So please remember to be kind to craft-people and refrain from these phrases, especially if you are only a passer by.  To fellow crafters reading, I hope you can relate.

To my friend who inspired this entire blog entry, remember that the line "Hey can you make that?" will get you a number of very odd items.  So that is why you have a custom sweater hanging in your closet.

May your stitches be straight, and may your thread never tangle.